I have seen the future of the NFL, and all the players are dogs, and it is good.

  发布时间:2024-09-21 18:32:52   作者:玩站小弟   我要评论
Despite home-field advantage, the Philadelphia Eagles weren’t favored to win their playoff game agai 。

Despite home-field advantage, the Philadelphia Eagles weren’t favored to win their playoff game against the Atlanta Falcons on Saturday. Starting quarterback Carson Wentz had suffered a season-ending injury in December, and so the Eagles had to rely on backup Nick Foles. Though Foles had a shaky start, the Eagles combined a little bit of good luck with a fantastic defensive performance to come out on top, winning 15-10.

The game may have seemed like a throwback to the league’s low-scoring, smashmouth days of yore. However, it actually portends an exciting, though frightening future: an NFL overrun by adorable dog-men (who may or may not be monsters and an insult to our natural order).

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When the refs blew the final whistle on Saturday, Philadelphia offensive line”man” Lane Johnson removed his helmet to reveal his true self.

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Some may argue that Johnson is actually wearing a mask, and that this was an elaborate visual joke—a play on how his team were underdogsto the Falcons. That argument is silly. I mean, look at him—that’s a 310-pound, German shepherd-headed creature who is forced to play football for our amusement. There’s no other way to explain it.

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The NFL is a copycat league. If one team finds success with exotic formations or situational reads (like the run-pass option), other teams will inevitably imitate them. Now that Lane Johnson has won an NFC Divisional round playoff game as a tragic castoff from The Island of Dr. Moreau, look for football’s sharpest minds to follow.

This is a gift for the NFL. The league has been mired in bad vibes and unwelcome press all season. If the players and coaches morph into cuddly canine-homo sapienhybrids, all that will be forgotten. It’s so simple, even Roger Goodell won’t be able to mess it up.

There are downsides, of course, like how a man-dog football league will eat into Puppy Bowl’s viewership. More pressing is the fact that football is a violent sport, and no one wants to see dogs get hurt. Still, all these guys knew what they signed up for when a twisted madman in his dark and horrid laboratory spliced their DNA with that of a dog’s. That’s just football, baby.

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